this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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