I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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