Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
