You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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