she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
