On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
