You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
