literally had 100 drinks last night.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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