Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
