...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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