She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
