How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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