this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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