What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
