I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
