what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
