I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
