hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
