after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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