don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
