I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize