i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
