dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
