it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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