You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
