Cold hands, warm shart.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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