someone get that fucking seahorse.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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