drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
