I hope mine doesn't look like that
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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