So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
