i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
