You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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