"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i think im in europe. pls send help
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize