In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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