Yo dont text me then not text me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
