who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
