dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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