You don't have asthma, your pregnant
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize