Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
