I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i now understand why vodka
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
