I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
