rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Couch. On fire.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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