I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
