guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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