her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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