You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
