How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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