yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They have beer where we have blood.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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