he shaved USA in his pubs
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
