nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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