Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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