so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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