This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
