is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Never joke about your clitoris.
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