she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
