she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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