Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
