I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
