And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
