You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
