I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
my poor anus
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
