can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
