Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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