I'm really into asian looking animals
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
