How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
