We're like a lot better than the average bears
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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