a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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