The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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