Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
