This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
