He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize