I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
