This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
