i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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